The difference between an intimate wedding vs elopement

If you’re here, you’re probably recently engaged. So before I go any further… CONGRATULATIONS!!! I’m so freaking happy for you! Now let’s chat about some different options for your special day… You’ve probably heard the terms “intimate wedding” and “elopement” quite a bit more over the last couple of years as they have gained popularity, and I’m totally here for it! My husband and I actually eloped back in 2016, but elopements have evolved SO much since even then. They’re no longer bound by courthouse walls, Las Vegas borders, last-minute timing and/or secrecy. So let’s play a game of wedding vs elopement, shall we?

I’m a huge advocate for choosing either an intimate wedding or elopement over a traditional wedding. So much so that I rarely provide photography services for any wedding with over 30 guests. The main reason is that intimate weddings and elopements are both entirely centered around the couple and the beautiful commitment they are making to one another, whereas traditional weddings are unfortunately oftentimes more centered around the production and even the people attending, despite any and all efforts to avoid it being that way.

While traditional weddings can absolutely be the right fit for some, I wanted to write this post for anybody who is the slightest bit curious about alternative options like I was, and how they compare. So let’s dive into each one, starting with…

Elopements

Elopements are super cool because there really are no rules! It could be 4 hours long or 2 days.

You could fly to Ireland just the two of you and say your vows in front of Dunluce Castle, then hit up a local pub.

You could invite up to 10 of your closest pals and get married on the Hawaiian coast followed by a dive in the ocean (I’ll show ya where all the cool spots are ;)).

Or take a hike in Glacier National Park for your ceremony at sunrise, followed by breakfast, and a day of exploring.

Maybe you wanna get married in your grandparents’ backyard, or a tiny chapel, or have a big city adventure and sign papers at the courthouse. The day is completely personalized to you and your lover and all the things you enjoy doing together. It can be as simple or extravagant as you want it to be. And whether you want a few people there or not, eloping gives you the time to just be present. With the environment, with any activities, and most importantly, with each other.

I will add that not everyone actually gets married on the day they elope, especially for international elopements! Many people will get legally married at their local courthouse, then elope to have their formal ceremony. Some people choose to bring an officiant with them so they can get legally married during their actual ceremony (or I’m also ordained and can be the officiant while also being your photographer!). While others choose a state where it is legal to self-solemnize (get legally married without an officiant) such as Colorado.

I have a blog post all about the easiest places to elope in the U.S. you can check out, but I also personally help plan the entire elopement for my couples, including those little details, so you don’t have to stress!

intimate weddings

If you’re really into the idea of eloping but can’t live without having more of your loved ones around to celebrate you as you say “I do”, an intimate wedding might be a better choice for you! Intimate weddings are very similar to traditional weddings in the sense that they follow the same general timeline and planning logistics. You send out invitations, have a ceremony, followed by a reception, etc. Except done to suit a smaller guest list.

Intimate weddings typically have up to 30 guests (give or take), whereas traditional weddings have an average of around 150 guests. The UP TO 30 guests I should say are very intentionally chosen people, which is a big part of what helps keep intimate weddings still very much centered around the couple.

Though intimate weddings do follow a similar series of events as traditional weddings, like elopements, you have a bit more freedom.

You have the option of doing a destination wedding. You’re not limited on food options like larger weddings are. You have more quality time with your significant other rather than spending your entire reception apart to make sure you talk to 100, 200, 300 people (I encourage you to do the math on 3 minutes of conversation per guest to see how much time you’d be giving up). You typically don’t have a wedding party or you have maybe one or two people stand by you. Family portraits go by quickly or are non-existent, which leaves more room for photos of you and your new hubby or wifey and those beautiful candid shots that capture your love story perfectly.

Some people even choose to combine the elopement and intimate wedding experience by eloping for the ceremony to keep it more private and personal, then having a small reception with 20-30 of their loved ones to celebrate afterward!

Like elopements, I am also always here to help my couples plan their intimate wedding as well!

FOR THE ONES HERE FOR THE HIGHLIGHTS…

Elopements

• 0 – 10 guests

• no wedding party

• ceremony + no reception

• get married on your wedding day or hit up the courthouse before/after

• completely centered around you and your lover

• less stressful

• no strict timeline to follow

• endless quality time for you and your lover

• you can do any activities you want

• endless location options

• primarily to all photos of you and your lover

• more budget-friendly or an opportunity to invest in quality over quantity

• perfect for people who want their day to be all about them, with plenty of photos and quality time with each other, and unlimited options on how/where they spend their day

Intimate Weddings

• 10 – 30 guests

• wedding party minimal to non-existent

• similar to the traditional wedding timeline (ceremony followed by reception)

• more personalized details and fewer limitations

• legally married at your ceremony

• mostly to completely centered around you and your lover

• less stressful

• more quality time for you and your lover

• more location options

• more photos of you and your lover

• more budget-friendly or an opportunity to invest in quality over quantity

• perfect for people who want their day a bit more personalized, more downtime + photos with their new spouse, want to save money or invest in quality, and have their ride or dies celebrating with them

Traditional Weddings

• average of 100-200 guests

• average wedding party of 10

• ceremony followed by reception

• limited food choices and personalization

• legally married at your ceremony

• usually more centered around production and entertaining guests

• typically more stressful because of so many moving parts paired with a strict timeline

• minimal downtime for you and your lover

• more limited location options

• very limited photos of just you and your lover due to strict timeline and having to fit in the wedding party and family portraits

• less budget-friendly and for quantity rather than quality

• perfect for people who wanna have a big party to celebrate their day and don’t care as much about quality time + photos alone

Every couple is unique. So whereas my husband and I may thrive by eloping and would be totally overwhelmed by a traditional wedding, some will find eloping to be lonely without their loved ones around cheering them on and prefer a traditional or intimate wedding! At the end of the day, YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED! And that’s awesome no matter how you choose to do it.

One last thing I will say is, no matter what you decide, don’t skip out on photos. My husband and I didn’t invest in photos for our elopement and it’s one of my biggest regrets. Photos are really the only thing that lasts beyond your wedding day and you will value them forever.

So invest in a photographer you love. Someone who will provide you with the incredible photos and experience you deserve — even if that photographer isn’t me! I’m not the best fit for everyone and I’m totally okay with that. But you deserve to have your story captured so you can relive all the feels decades down the road!

Congratulations again, sweet friend. I wish you both a lifetime of pure joy together!